my new word.
i am.................JAMERICAN!!~~
Confused..chyea...
my life in my mind has been utter confusion of late....
They say the first step is always the hardest...just wait till you get to the next step.
Everyday my mind is filled with possibilities, should i do this, should i do that? makes it diffucult to make decisions when ur filled with too many options.
A normal Long day for me. it goes a little something like this...
1.(morning) Wake up: my mind stops and tries to recollect reality for a couple of minutes. sick of it and wanting to go back to my dreamworld...till u realize, no, thats not happening. embrace reality and get on with it.
It so happens that whenever i wake up bright and early, my desire for life is to be a hippie...or a gypsy...or something of the combination of both. living a chilled life, without a care in the world...
2. Head to work:...usually supposed to be studying. which brings to mind that i have to do school, finish my tests so i can go get a decent job! Then i think, maybe i should save up and go to college..be one of those smartasses, and live in plush apartments...hmm
3.(midday) Working: No customers....doodle as usual. realize, "hey, im actually not that bad...maybe i really should apply for art school...at least i could live with it..." then, "ohhh riight...forgot how much it sucked"
4. (afternoon) still working: Maybe i really should continue with my singing. maybe i really should write some songs
make some songs
sing some songs
then sell some songs...and see how that goes.....hmm
5. observing families at work: "really, maybe i should meet some hot guy, marry him...have kids...and live the usual yet cliche life..(no offense mothers)" then...nah!! im still YOUNG, I Dont DO RELATIONSHIPS!! I HATE THE THOUGHT OF MARRIAGE!..so settles my case
6. (night) gets off work: WHAt am i THINKING!! hell, i love to party! maybe i should just get a decent job with decent money enough to have a decent place with decent furniture and maybe decent PEOPLE!!! and then party my life till i find the decency to be civilized.
7. or i could get that English Job with the foreign Company which pays quite decent given the percentage i got on my toeic. could also give me a good oppotunity to hobnob daily with nice foreigners. (wink)
okay...see there. too much thinking? nooooot just yet...
8. Home: (Viewing some form of entertainment) "wow Acting must be fun, i would Love to try that" then figures its too big for me...ferget it....
9. goes back to wanting to do the singing....
10 I really wanna be a hairstylist...and designer!!
11. aaaand if thaaat just aint enough, i can always combine everything together! move out, find a half decent job, while i party and try to work on the music side of things. make money possibly, do some designing and art, find a lovely man to settle down with, live that cliche life and THEN retire....wow...
12.Bed: "chyea....im totally messed up...confused to say the least."
13. ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
so goes the routine of my thoughts...almost daily...
now what to do.....
Honestly, i really dont want to plan out my life...like having a trajectory of it...who wants a life written in stone. funs all about spontaneousness. at least it should be, for me. maybe not all.
Being Undecisive is absolutely Confusing~
just cant seem to figure out the Next Step....
To dear Daichi...
oh little brother...im sorry to announce to you and bust your bubble of drinking mojitos on the beach, shaking the maracas in the bars, taking tequilla shots with lime and salt, eating quesadillas at the corner vender, wearing a sombrero and telling everyone "im mexican".....cuz our brother Phil and his wife paula and kids are now moving back to SD! sorry bud....try another country yeah? its not good for u :P:P:P:P
Anime, Manga
so i tried this out the other day at work, never tried manga. but guess i can draw it too! NO I DO NOT DRAW! i can..but i DONT! dont ask, i just hate it..too boring.
i took it was a cell phone cause i dont have a scanner! haha!
with color pencils and a single black marker! 
Finally home....
Been gone from monday...just got home last night. was a tiring and eventful weekend. stayed at a hotel for three days in chiba, took tests, hung around town, went to tokyo, met some producers and ppl from a record company..and Im tired and just happy to be home. :)
My thoughts from this morning...
i wake up...first thought that came to mind..
Everything in Japan is small and expensive! even the chicks! l-(
anxious as whats to come...
well, for an update for recent things that are happening, here it is. apologies for not keeping everyone in the know about things. ive just been busy...and i dont blog very often...but it is an easier means of updating people to save me the trouble of repeating myself. :)
so, in reply to the question ive been asked so much lately.."hows the singing going?"..Well, everyone its going great so far. heres a little idea of whats going on:
This competition was originally for mcdonald crew members. but this year, not only can crew participate, so can anyone else. so, to give you some numbers, about 15000 people signed up for this competition, sending in their songs, or demos. out of that 15000, 800 were picked for a second audition/performance/competition. and out of that 800, ten are picked to go on to the national competition.
i participated in this competition as well. and passed the first one. and got called to SME by Sony music. and then was one of the 800 picked to go to this second audition. so far, i think things are going good. and now, if ive passed through to the final rounds...(aka. one of the ten people) then i will get a phone call by the end of this week.
now we wait...and see what happens next. :S
Cheers.
R.I.P
michael jackson, the worlds greatest celebrity, the king of pop, the only one to change skin color, amazing dancer and singer. died yesterday at the age of 50. rest in peace.
the Akari and Ivan Duet...
here we are again..another song we did that same day. this one took awhile to get cause it was slightly less priority. to top it off, the original quality of the instrumental was real crap. but we got steve to mix it for us (bribed him with BR ice cream..Lol.) and he did a really good job. and it sounds great. here you are..
Akari and Ivan : Last thing on my Mind
(click on the link to listen or download)
oh and P.S....they want me to come earlier..so im going to tokyo next monday..yeah in 4 days!! yikes~~
im..................IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~..time for a CELEBRATION
okay, so today was a wonderful day..i made some new KINKI friends..and I GOT THE PHONE CALL~~~
okay, so basically, this demo was for a competition, where,if you win, you can get debuted by sony music, or you can go on to a world competition...and..they called..and they were INTERESTED IN ME!!!!!!!!!! so ALL the staff agreed that they want to see me earlier..so on July 5th...i will be going to tokyo to meet with the accountants...YAY~~ wish me the best ya'll!!! this is gna be god..im hitting the road and i dont know where its gna take me~~ ahhhhhhhhhh this is crazzy~~ im celebrating right now with my best friend and we're psyched!!!!!!!!!
catch ya'll laters
the Final Is Finally Here
so here it is, the cover demo to leona lewis' bleeding love song.
now, ur free to judge but before you do, just keep in mind the fact that i had a cold doing this, we had hardly any sleep, and had a very very limited time to work on this. and not too long mind u. so bear with. this isnt the bestest, but its a little taste. so enjoy!
thanks for helping out marie!!!
Click here
Update!
So, as is shown above..i changed the title. and i kinda like it, only you people who have me on their messenger, skype or phone would understand what im talking about. haha.
so all to say, im back from a very packed out and fun weekend~ went to noda, then chiba, then souka...
oh and btw, i worked on a cover song while i was there! :D one with myself alone. and one duet with Ivan for Fun. it was a blast...and extremely tiring after a couple days of partying and no sleep. haha.
will post if i see fit to be daring....catch u all in a bit.
oh no! gasp! someone help me out!!
okay, so ive had this blog for over a year, and the original title, was because it was supposed to be a get together of posts from different individuals from my home, hence the marmalade jam. since marmalade jam is bitter sweet, it fit perfectly to how life is! and jam, a get together...which was originally because it was mine, lilys, AND a few others. but now its only me. thats not the bad part...i just found out 5 minutes ago, that theres a STRAWBERRY JAM site...which may give people the wrong idea that i am imitating their blog or band name.
so all that to say, i need a new name. any ideas?
birthday, kobe, weekend. etc.
So, as most of you know, me and lils went to kobe for my birthday and the weekend. God, it was great...pretty depressing being home..but such is life..oh well ill go again someday soon. even though i really miss the city and everyone in it. well here are the pics. as well as ones from tabehoudai..we went before going to kobe. ENjoy~
Tabehoudai~~
Shun, Meguu~ 
Korean, Chinese..
Tough Guys~
the strange two....
Me, Yoko, mark and the kids. :D
Sweet Airi~
a few of us at the beach barbeque.
cute Deb~ 
Airina and Max
sam and his best friend...
some of the models..
My hero..Tray!! lol...sucha hottie.
the cutie Max...mr.edward cullen..lol
Priscilla.
Ken.
Me, Nathie, Priscilla, Lily, and Deb. 
Kento~
all in all, i had a blast...going to go back as soon as i can..
updates
hey ya'll~ so, i havent updated in awhile..and i know. been pretty busy lately..working two jobs and all...lol! so anyways, i have things to update on...but been a lil too busy to sit down and just BLOG all day...haha.
anyways, all that to say, im gonna be off to kobe from tomorrow for a few days to have a good birthday bash!! hyahhaaha! so ill be back to post pics and all else soon enough. catch you all in a few days. wish me the best birthday EVER!! haha
My Photography... :)
okay so a year ago, i bought a great camera...recently i havent been using it much...Darn me! so the other day was gorgeous, so i picked up my camera, took a walk and took a bunch of shots at random things. and heres the outcome. now gimmie some FEEDBACK!!! i love photography!! 
when im bored...
im random....
happy birthday Benji Madden! 
(singer/guitarist for Good Charlotte..)
..i dunno..i just looked up todays date and his name popped up..so why not! wishing u the best!
News~
well, i took an english test about a year ago. and recently, i got an invitation! out of 2.4 million people who took the test, 120 people get picked! and i was one of them! yay! i must be lucky!!! the invitation was for a ceremony, which all of us will get certificates,(mine is a british representative certificate of some sort. lol.) with good Hotel Food!!! for lunch..or dinner? im not sure! ahha. but i will be going to the Hotel Okura in Tokyo at the end of this month! quite kinki huh? anyways, you guys better wish me the best of luck! dont know who i may meet~ :D
Scooter Smiff
yep im loving this kid. hes too good for his own good.....
Scooter Smiff ft. Chris Brown.
Birthday party...belated
this was naotos and Daves Birthday party, i should have posted about it awhile ago...but hey, better late than never.
some of the Naughty Boys...
Meggy doing the Batsu game!
the load of us 
the birthday victims
gaming
the glorious cake!!!!
now..isnt she a beauty....4 layers of cake....with baileys cream inbetween...yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmy it was suuper yummy...
everyone delving in!
yes....they went crazy
party party!
skypscraper
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AHA! guiltyy~~
